Sales engagements are pretty strange interactions when you really think about them. They involve an element of friendliness, but the endgame isn‘t making friends. Shocking as this sounds, you’re actually trying to sell something when selling.
That means you have to strike a balance between approachability and authority — but that’s easier said than done, making rapport building equal parts essential and screw-up-able for sales professionals.
So, to help support your rapport-building efforts, we here at The HubSpot Sales Blog — the only online sales publication that reconciles the unimpeachable integrity of Walter Cronkite with the hard-nosed truth-to-power-ness of Lenny Bruce — consulted some experts to compile a list of key mistakes you can make when trying to develop rapport with prospects. Let’s take a look!
6 Key Mistakes You Can Make When Trying to Build Rapport
1. Misjudging Humor
Casey Meraz, Digital Marketing Expert, says, «Using humor to build rapport is often a double-edged sword. Misjudging humor can lead to uncomfortable silences or even offend your prospect. Everyone‘s sense of humor is different; what’s funny to one person might be inappropriate to another. Knowing your audience is crucial here.
«Instead of assuming what might make them laugh, start with neutral topics and pay attention to their reactions. Watch for cues — are they smiling or appearing more reserved? This kind of awareness will guide you in deciding whether humor might enhance or hinder your relationship-building efforts.
«Practice the ‘Two-Second Rule’ to assess the appropriateness of humor during your conversation. Before sharing a joke or making a light-hearted comment, pause for two seconds. This brief pause allows you to assess if the timing, context, and content align with your prospect’s demeanor and current emotional state.
“If there’s any doubt, opt out. Humor is effective only when it strengthens the connection, rather than creating an uncomfortable barrier. Keep your communication genuine and adapt your approach based on the prospect’s response to build trust without the risk of unintentional missteps.”
2. Failing to Match a Prospect’s Communication Style
Jessica Bane, Director of Business Operations at GoPromotional, says, «Failing to match a prospect‘s communication style can quickly lead to a disconnect. This doesn’t just apply to the tone of your words, but also to how you deliver them. A formal prospect might expect a more structured conversation peppered with industry jargon, while a casual one might appreciate a relaxed chat filled with everyday language and light humor.
«Ignoring these nuances could make your communication appear forced or artificial, as the prospect might feel misunderstood or not valued. A mismatch could also make the conversation seem awkward, which is the last thing anyone wants during a sales pitch.
«A practical way to align your communication style is through the ‘Mirroring Technique.’ This involves subtly mimicking the prospect‘s tone, pace, and choice of words. If they communicate quickly and with a sense of urgency, respond in kind with concise replies, demonstrating that you’re on the same wavelength.
“If they speak slowly and thoughtfully, take your time to provide detailed answers, showing that you respect their approach. This doesn’t mean becoming a carbon copy of the other person, but rather adapting enough that your communication feels natural and harmonious. This technique helps build rapport by making the prospect feel comfortable and understood, ultimately paving the way for a more meaningful connection.”
3. Pushing Personal Topics
Will Yang, Head of Growth & Marketing at Instrumentl, says, «Pushing personal topics on a prospect can feel intrusive and unnatural, damaging the rapport you’re trying to build. When prospects feel like their personal space is being invaded, they may become guarded, reducing the chances of a successful interaction.
«It‘s crucial to pay attention to the cues your prospect gives about their comfort level. If they’re not opening up about personal details, it might be a sign to steer the conversation back to more neutral or business-related topics.
«Instead, focus on building trust through relevance and shared interests. Use simple observational techniques like mentioning something neutral or universal, such as a common challenge in their industry or an upcoming event. A useful strategy is the ‘F.O.R.D.’ framework, which stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams.
«This approach provides a structure to guide conversations, but always be attentive and ready to pivot based on the prospect‘s reactions. Initiating with light questions about their occupation or industry trends allows you to gauge their openness. If they show disinterest or don’t engage, respect their boundaries and adjust your approach.
“This method focuses on genuinely understanding prospects without overstepping boundaries, ensuring that interactions remain respectful and productive. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity and reading social cues to maintain a comfortable and inviting conversation.”
4. Leaning on Generic Icebreakers
Shannon Smith O’Connell, Operations Director at Reclaim247, says, «Using generic icebreakers, like talking about the weather, often fails to create an authentic connection with prospects. These overused lines can make conversations feel mechanical, and prospects might tune out. People prefer engaging in discussions that are relevant and interesting, so it’s critical to establish genuine rapport from the start.
«Show genuine interest in their situation; it reflects that you‘ve done your homework and aren’t just operating on autopilot. Making small talk unique to their industry or personal interests can demonstrate that you’re invested in them, not just in your sales numbers.
«Instead of the usual small talk, prepare by researching the prospect‘s background or company news, and initiate conversations that connect on a personal level. This could involve mentioning a recent accomplishment of theirs or a challenge they may be facing and exploring it together. Using a framework like ’Contextual Connection,’ start with something specific to their industry or business, seamless enough to lead into natural conversation.
“For instance, ask about how a current industry trend is impacting their operations. This approach not only shows you’re knowledgeable but also lets prospects see value right from the get-go, setting the tone for a more engaged and meaningful conversation.”
5. Over-Promising
Tomasz Borys, Senior VP of Marketing & Sales at Deep Sentinel, says, «A major mistake is over-promising. It risks damaging trust. It’s better to be honest about what we can provide. It maintains our credibility and shows integrity.
“Another error is the lack of preparation. Without preparation, initiating a conversation might result in unpleasant situations and lost opportunities. Good preparation shows we value the customer’s time. It also positions us as knowledgeable partners.”
6. Not Respecting a Prospect’s Time Constraints
Dan Bowen, Founder of Bowen Media, says, «Don‘t ignore or talk over a prospect’s time constraints. If the prospect is short on time or doesn’t seem interested in small talk, pushing for unnecessary personal conversation can come across as tone-deaf and annoying. Not only does it waste their time, but it can also make you seem inconsiderate or unprofessional.
«Be aware of the prospect‘s cues — if they’re rushed or focused on business, adjust your approach and get to the point. Respecting their time and shifting the conversation to their business needs shows professionalism and attention.
“By acknowledging their schedule and being efficient, you build trust and show you value their time, which can pay off in the long run. Building rapport is important, but forcing it at the wrong time can damage the connection you’re trying to make.”
Building the kind of rapport that supports lasting, productive relationships with prospects is a delicate process — as evidenced by the fact that we just put together an entire article of ways you can mess it up.
Unfortunately, it‘s also a skill that you have to have a grasp on if you’re going to hack it in sales, regardless of where you’re at in your career. Hopefully, this list of rapport-building no-nos has offered some valuable perspective to help you refine how you engage, connect, and ultimately appeal to your prospects.