Carolyn Geason-Beissel/MIT SMR | Unsplash, Fotos
After receiving some challenging feedback about my management style, I’ve done a lot of introspection, taken responsibility, worked with a coach, and I believe I’ve made real changes in how I work with others. But I don’t sense that others’ perceptions have changed accordingly. What else do I need to do?
It can be frustrating to do the hard work of growth but then still feel defined by who you used to be. You’ve changed how you engage and react, but your team still seems to see you as the same leader. So, what does it take to be recognized as having changed?
In a situation like this, a few things could be at play. What may feel like a major change to you may be perceived as a minor adjustment by others or go unnoticed. Some people may be reserving judgment, especially if they’ve had difficult interactions with you in the past and want to see sustained evidence of change before they buy it as genuine.
Although we may feel transformed by growth, and that we are beginning a new story, people may interpret our new behaviors through old narratives. For instance, someone who was inconsiderate of others by being consistently late may have tackled this issue and is now regularly on time. However, any slip — just one instance of tardiness — will stand out, reinforcing the original perception.
The persistence of your old image is not a failure of effort but rather a lack of adequately signaling your efforts. It might be difficult to share how you are trying to effect positive change if you feel shame about old behaviors. But one of the most effective ways to signal change is to talk about it openly.
When you are working on a specific behavioral goal, don’t just keep it to yourself. Share it with your team! Let them know what you are trying to improve, and then create a rhythm of accountability. Regularly ask, “How am I doing? What could I do better?” Ideally, ask not in the abstract but with specifics. For example, say, “I’m trying to run meetings more inclusively. At our team check-in yesterday, do you think that everyone who wanted to contribute was able to?”
This technique, which I learned from my mentor Marshall Goldsmith, does two things. It reinforces that you are a leader committed to continuous growth and trains others to notice your changes. When people are explicitly invited into the process, they become more attuned to your progress rather than defaulting to old assumptions.
Equally important is how you reinforce that progress in everyday conversations — without boasting or seeming to fish for affirmation. Simple comments like “I’m trying something new with the weekly meeting agenda so that everyone has a chance to weigh in on what’s working and what’s not” could subtly shift perception. These small signals accumulate over time and help others update their mental models of you.
People can only respond to what they can see. Make your internal evolution visible externally. Signaling change is not about self-promotion. It’s about making your actions visible so that others can clearly see the growth that has already taken place. And those changes in perception will amp up your future-forward leadership.